I’ll admit that being single at 48 years young is not something I had ever envisioned, quite the opposite in fact. But life gives you different scenarios on a daily basis, it is what it is, and trust me: there are worse places to be single than Austin, Texas… with so much to offer from an active, vibrant community it’s easy to jump into the life of happy hours, live music, athletic events, and long walks / run on the trails, literally surrounded by like minded attractive people. (Unofficial motto of Austin residents: don’t come visit, you’ll want to live here…)
But yesterday I was unexpectedly confronted with a couple of higher questions: i.e. why am I single and what am I going to do with it?
Spoiler alert: I am not looking for a relationship…
So what happened? I (virtually) met someone that had amazing qualities, like minded values, and has her act seemingly quite together. Yes, I know that could all be a smoke screen, and while I really doubt it in this case, regardless it’s not even the point. The point being: I found myself thinking about a relationship, and what that might look like, and what was it in life that I really wanted; and I also found myself thinking about the advantages and disadvantages of life as a single person – there are many on both sides of the coin. I discussed it with a good friend who’s been in a similar circumstance and she also admitted to feelings along this way. It’s an interesting conundrum to be sure…
I do know I hope that one day I'll find someone who I can commit to and hopefully grow old with. In the mean time there’s a lot of good life to be had here and around the world. But it’s also good to know that the clouds are starting to lift a little and thoughts of beyond next week or next month are creeping back in. No idea where this is all headed, but isn’t that the point: it’s the journey, not necessarily the destination? Ciao for now – Cb…
4 comments:
Chris, all that comes to mind after reading this is you are the man. And yes after visiting Austin for a few hours I could easily live there. I know that you have heard this but when you least expect it that is when the good things hit you. Oh and have some fun...
Single is often looked upon as a problem that needs to be fixed. Admittedly, more so for females than for males, but society still feels the need to connect the dots. Personally, I think it's a way for my committed friends to continue dating. From a female point of view, I miss having a man. I miss the release I feel when being held. I miss having a number to call when I am so excited I almost pee my pants. But, finding the person who fulfills these requirements without forcing a fit seems to elude me. I guess that wishing you weren't single, is a lot better than wishing you were. So, I wait..and I sample...and I keep an open heart. Someday, I will find it...and until then...I guess I will read...a lot!
It is indeed frustrating to be asked, "How/Why are you single?" as if it's an autoimmune disorder. It's healing and healthy to be single and focus on the aspects of self that take time and contemplation.
I've enjoyed some wonderful relationships in my life, and look forward to (at least) one more. But when they run their course, I enjoy taking the time to heal. It wouldn't be fair to spend time with someone just not to be alone.
I like myself, so being alone isn't so bad.
courtney has it right on... i can honestly and purely say from experience that i think men in general are easy to 'settle' (and faster after a divorce, etc...) fir way less prospects than do women! maybe that is why the ratio is so messed up after 40. get real, this blog sorta pissed me off... wait 3 years after you've been divorced to share in this "singleness" sphere and then tell me how wonderful it is! it sucks! especially, after wasting numerous years on ur beloved to marry a woman half ur age... nice! meh!
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